Good things (never) happen to those who wait

Sebelum kening kalian mengernyit gegara bingung sama judulnya, di mana gue menjungkirbalikkan paradigma "good things happen to those who wait," let me get it clear.

Ofc, "wait" di sini konotasinya negatif. I'm a notorious waiter known for procrastinating everything in sight. Apa-apa ditunda terus. Gue selalu kepingin nyari waktu sempurna dan pas buat ngelakuin sesuatu, but the time often slips before I realize it. The thing is, people, you'll never guess what could happen next.

Kayak kondisi gue sekarang contohnya. When I faced my mirror, I saw a bleary-eyed girl with crumpled face. Fyi, gue nggak tidur semaleman. Dan itu semua karena gue... nunda-nunda kerjaan.

Tempo hari gue beli buku di Books&Beyond, terus ngopi-ngopi cantik bareng Fajri my beloved friend. Pas pulang, I was tired but I knew I could read some pages, tapi gue malah leyeh-leyeh ga guna sambil main HP. AC gue nyalain ke suhu 16. Akhirnya gue nggak dapet apa-apa. Gue nggak sempet tidur siang juga soalnya keburu maghrib.

Abis salat maghrib, nyokap beliin gue kwetiau, yang gue tunda-tunda juga penyantapannya. Gue sibuk ketak-ketik laptop, ngelarin cerbung gue di Ms. Word, sambil ngopi. I'm sorta helpless to write without coffee. Udah kelar, gue nyalain internet. Gue buka blog private gue. Gue copas tulisan di Ms. Word ke sana. Everything had gone smoothly until my laptop went blank, right before I clicked "Publish post".

Gue nyante-nyante aja tuh. Gue nyalain juga charger-nya. Nggak sampe dua menit sejak gue nge-sync charger...

listriknya mati.

Gue mulai nggak santai. Kata nyokap sih, gardu PLN deket rumah kebakar, makanya mati listrik. Ya udah. Akhirnya gue turun dan makan kwetiau. Abis itu balik lagi ke kamar, only to realize... God, I was so helpless without electricity. Gue nggak bisa baca buku. Gue nggak bisa nyalain laptop. Sampe sinyal internet gue juga ngaco.

Akhirnya gue putusin buat tidur. Gue buka jendela, biar nggak panas banget gitu biar kata AC mati. Guess what?

Banyak nyamuk.

Gue emang paling anti sama makhluk yang satu ini, akhirnya gue tutup jendela. The situation happen next fulfilled my bet. Panasnya minta ampun ya Tuhan. Gara-gara nggak tahan, gue pun ke kamar adik gue dan ngambil Baygon.

"Eh, mau lo bawa ke mana Baygon-nya?!" Tiba-tiba adek gue bangun.

"Nyemprot nyamuk," jawab gue setengah hati.

"Tolol. Lo mau rumah kita kebakaran?"

Asli, gue udah tertohok banget sama omongan nyolotnya itu, but I found the thought made sense. Iya ya. Di sekeliling rumah lagi banyak lilin. Banyak api. Semprot minyak tanah mah sama aja cari mati.

Finally I went back to my bedroom and tried to sleep. I failed miserably.

Lalu gue inget gue udah nenggak dua gelas  kopi seharian ini.

Gue pun terlentang menatap langit-langit. Nyamuk-nyamuk ngerubung gue. Perut gue keroncongan. Mana malem-malem kayak ada yang jalan di atap gue, pula. I haven't slept. Hingga sekarang.

Gue jadi mikir, what if I had worked my ass off earlier? What if I had typed my stories once I got home? What if I hadn't drunk that goddamn coffee?

Now you meet my endless what-if list.

Bukan sekali ini aja sih gue kena masalah gara-gara kopi. Beberapa minggu lalu, gue kepingin banget cappucino cincau di sekitar rumah gue. Nggak deket, tapi nggak jauh juga. Kayak dari Bulungan ke Blok M Square gitu lah jaraknya. Akhirnya gue ke sana, jam 12, panas-panasan, dan guess what?

Tokonya belom buka, nyet.

Berhubung gue orangnya harus ngedapetin apa yang gue idamkan kalo udah setengah jalan, gue pun mikirin cara lain. Gue ke minimarket di belakang tukang capucin, beli kopi sendiri, dan pulang. Gue beli es batu dan getok sendiri. Gue bikin kopinya sendiri. Gue masukin es batunya, dannn....

Gelasnya kesenggol siku gue sampe jatoh.

Seakan belom cukup sial, nyokap gue ngamuk dan nyuruh gue ngepel+cuci barang-barang yang kena kopi gue. Gue laksanakan juga titah baginda. Sambil nangis-nangis bombay ceritanye. Kelar cuci piring dan ngepel, gue bikin kopi lagi. Dari awal. Gue bawa ke kamar gue. Pas gue mau ambil buku, gue sadar badan gue lengket sama keringat dan sisa tumpahan kopi.

Seogah-ogahnya gue, gue tetep mandi. As always sih, I made wrong choice.

Pas gue kelar mandi, kopi kedua gue udah dirubung semut.

Here came my earlier what-ifs. What if I had drunk that coffee before I bathed? Mungkin bakalan worth the struggle.

Itu baru yang berkaitan sama kopi. Minggu ini, entah udah berapa waktu yang gue abisin buat hal-hal yang sia-sia. Senin kemarin, gue bolos demi bikin KTP. Pas udah sampe di kelurahan, orangnya bilang belom bisa bikin KTP kalo belom ultah. Kamis-nya, waktu ada event lomba menyambut ultah 70 sekolah kami tercinta, hampir sekelas gue pada cabut. Gue masuk soalnya nggak enak kan, udah bolos sehari.

Sekelas gue akhirnya cuma sembilan orang yang masuk dan guru-guru terlalu sibuk ngurusin lomba. Akhirnya gue gabut 8 jam. Gue tidur-tiduran. Gue ngobrol ngalor ngidul sampe pulang. Gerbang baru dibuka jam tiga lantaran satpam yang jagain ikut lomba voli. And it was too late to go to Books&Beyond and do my bookshopping. Pas di jalan, gue lupa gue belom ngerjain tugas akuntansi gue yang bejibun. Akhirnya gue pulang, berlinangan air mata, cursing both my stupidity and my teacher's lies. Katanya pulangnya jam 12. Bullshit.

Berhubung gue udah terlanjur nggak mood parah, gue bolos kursus Prancis gue. Gue curhat ke Fadli, my lovely psychologist to be yang sekarang S2 di salah satu PTN terkemuka (nggak setermuka UI, tetep:p). Katanya, gue butuh hippo time.

I actually had no idea what hippo time was, so I Googled it. Fadli orangnya nyolot, kalo gue nggak tau pasti dicak-cakin bego. Padahal teori labelling itu dilarang dan fatal. Gimana sih lo.

Anyway, hippo time ternyata, harfiah gampangnya, "berkubang" dulu dalam kesedihan kita. Ngasih diri kita waktu sebelum menapak tahap SUMO: Shut Up and Move On. Waktu gue pamerin kecerdasan superfisial gue ke Fadli, doi bilang, "Manusia sama kuda nil tuh 11/12. Kuda nil berkubang, manusia berkabung." He stated something original, like ever, and his saying made into my favourite quotations list.

Dan lo tau lah, apa yang gue lakuin di masa-masa hippo time gue.

Yak, procrastinating.

Once again, I drowned in grieve begitu sadar kerjaan gue nggak kelar. Sebelum gue ngetik post ini pun, gue SMS Fadli, and wise as ever, he said, "Nothing to lose kok Cha."

Dan gue kayak, "I lost lots of time."

Dia bales, "You didn't lose what you've learned, though. And you've got another story to tell."

His advice opened my eyes. So I here I am, writing this story, nungguin listriknya nyala (udah sebelas jam woy matinya), hoping I don't lose anything anymore.

Kids, don't procrastinate. I'm serious. It's bad for your health. Good things never come to those who wait. Good things happen to those who work their asses out.

Do it now. Sometime "later" becomes "never".